If you have found your way here it's for a reason. Maybe it's that I too spoke to a wine bottle and said ' I will only have two glasses tonight'. I too set out with the good intention to have a glass of wine to unwind, and survive the daily rough and tumble of family life. I too went from a glass to a bottle a night with ease, chopping vegetables, doing homework, setting the table, and an episode on NETFLIX, yet somewhere between the meal prep and the bedside locker, I got lost. This is standing in the gray, hazardously drinking alone at home, afraid of being an alcoholic or reaching out for help, fearing above all else that the label alone will destroy your life; wishing alcohol was not your daily reward system, and wondering how it all happened to have told yourself everyone has a few glasses of wine after work. I didn't even see it creeping up nor realize my entire life after 6 o'clock was lived two steps from a wine rack. It was always full, always in full clear and open sight as I never hid my drinking from anyone. I sat in my kitchen and chatted to the kids, caught up on our day, supervised homework, did work emails, and all the while with a glass of wine to my right.
I did google am I drinking too much or the recommended weekly wine intake but zoned in on the articles that said wine was good for my health and quite Mediterranean. I too woke up feeling dreadful but got so used to waking up foggy presuming it was normal believing the world and his mother woke up feeling the same, fire up with coffee and head into another day. I often said too much or said too little, sent a text, an email or had a random stupid argument about something and nothing, I too forgot what episode we were watching on NETFLIX and planned to save the world three glasses in. I too wished for my life to be different but was afraid, overwhelmed, isolated and felt it was the one impossible task that would always defeat me. I danced with 'Moderation Mary' for a long long time, accepting me and wine would be forever bedfellows as I hadn't a blind chance of winning this battle. I too did dry January, dry November, dry week days, only wine on high days and holidays but it never stuck and time and time again I returned to my nightly wine bottle.
Trust me, I was you and I recognise everything you are doing, going through, wishing for and hoping for. If you are struggling, wishing, hoping for a miracle please reach out, email us, ask for help or guidance. We are here to listen, to write back with support to help you find the right course for you. Be that 'The Luckiest Club, The Sober School, Sober Mom Squad, Annie Grace 'or an in-treatment program. Stay online long enough to write us an email and our tribe will pick you up, guide you, talk to you and listen and begin the journey out of this kitchen darkness. Lots of love and light wherever you are and remember all it takes is a commitment to say not today lady, not today and an email!
We look forward to your email.